Download A Million Ways to Die in the West by Seth MacFarlane PDF

By Seth MacFarlane

From the writer of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.

Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is bored to death with the cruel lifetime of the yankee frontier, the place it kind of feels every little thing and something can kill you: Duels at excessive midday. Barroom brawls. toxic snakes. Cholera-infected ingesting water. Tumbleweed abrasion. anything referred to as "toe-foot." Even a visit to the outhouse. sure, there are 1000000 how you can die within the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to prevent all of them. a few humans imagine that makes him a coward. Albert calls it logic. but if his female friend dumps him for the main unbearable man on the town, Albert comes to a decision to struggle back—even although he can't shoot, trip, or throw a punch. thankfully, he groups up with a stunning gunslinger who's tricky sufficient for the either one of them. regrettably, she's married to the most important, meanest, so much jealous bad-ass at the frontier. seems Albert has simply came across 1000000 and one how one can die within the West.

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Sample text

The first eight expeditions to Everest were British, all of which attempted the mountain from the northern, Tibetan, side—not so much because it presented the most obvious weakness in the peak’s formidable defenses but rather because in 1921 the Tibetan government opened its long-closed borders to foreigners, while Nepal remained resolutely off limits. The first Everesters were obliged to trek 400 arduous miles from Darjeeling across the Tibetan plateau simply to reach the foot of the mountain.

The Garuda has long been popular with expeditions bound for the Himalaya, and its walls were covered with signed photographs of famous alpinists who’d slept there over the years: Reinhold Messner, Peter Habeler, Kitty Calhoun, John Roskelley, Jeff Lowe. Ascending the stairs to my room I passed a large four-color poster titled “Himalayan Trilogy,” depicting Everest, K2, and Lhotse—the planet’s highest, second-highest, and fourth-highest mountains, respectively. Superimposed against the images of these peaks, the poster showed a grinning, bearded man in full alpine regalia.

Like most of his peers, he sought funding from corporate sponsors to pay for his expensive Himalayan expeditions. And he was savvy enough to understand that the more attention he got from the news media, the easier it would be to coax corporations to open their checkbooks. As it happened, he proved to be extremely adept at getting his name into print and his mug on the telly. ” In 1988, a guide from Auckland named Gary Ball became Hall’s primary climbing partner and closest friend. * With Everest, the most difficult of the septet, already taken care of, Hall and Ball wangled backing from a big electrical utility, Power Build, and were on their way.

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