By Helen Kafka, Laura Hellen
A spoof of the famed Oprah-book uncomplicated Abundance and different self-help books focusing on the modern lady.
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In Mrs. Finkei's brisket order. I'm grateful that my gynecologist moved the sock-puppet stirrup covers so the eyes are facing the other way. JANUARY 31st Anaheim, California I'm grateful that Consuela remembered to change the water in the tofu keeper. I'm grateful to my tarot reader for assuring me that the Hanging Joker is only bad when it's facing east. I'm grateful that I remembered to remove my bookmark before throwing out this week's People. I'm grateful that, when it caught the sun, the crystal hanging in my lower hallway only burned through one layer of flocking.
MAY 24th Calabasas, California I'm grateful that my years of celibacy have given me the freedom to focus my mind on the meditation exercises more easily than the single women. I'm grateful that my sari has a pocket for my lipstick and gold card. I'm grateful to the Swami for teaching me that Nirvana has nothing to do with Courtney love. I'm grateful that in the same year I've been able to put away a $2 million nest-egg from my burgeoning smallappliance industry, I have found peace within. I'm grateful that the Ashram Starbucks has Lactaid.
I'm grateful that my plantar's wart was cured with my fungus medication. I'm grateful that living years and years here at the Canal has saved me a fortune on waxing. I'm grateful that the rash didn't flake off in my neighbor's pool. I'm grateful that the doctor was able to lance the boil that some say had a striking resemblance to Boris Yeltsin. AUGUST 5th Fort Lee, New Jersey I'm grateful that when lightning struck my second husband Lenny's walker, it blackened his chicken just the way he likes it.